Dances With Wolves

If there existed such a thing as a Facilities Management rule book, it is generally held that rule number one would be “develop good relationships with your stakeholders”.  So why does the idea of engaging certain groups of stakeholders fill an FM with dread?  Let me explain using one of my favourite techniques: the animal simile.  Stakeholders are like wolves.

Those who know me well, know that I love a good simile. And no, that’s not a miss-spelling of smilie, although if you follow me on twitter (@JGurd) you’ll know that I also love a good smilie :)  . People are always saying that standards in education are declining, but ask any 8 year old what a simile is and quick as a flash they’ll tell you that it’s a figure of speech which is used to compare things to one another by using the words like or as. Pretty smart people, those kids and they even know a thing or two about smilies, but that’s digressing even more so I’ll try to get broadly back on track with the point I was making; I am particularly fond of the animal simile.  Through popular culture, childhood impressions, etc, we naturally endow certain animals with particular qualities or characteristics; lions are regal, mice are quiet, foxes are cunning and donkeys are well.........  well, let’s say fortunate.  And this is kind of my point, I haven’t said it, but you know exactly what I mean and this is why the animal simile works so well – the associations feel perfectly natural.  So let’s get back to my rather outlandish statement shall we? Not the one about donkeys, the other one.  Why is it tempting for a Facilities Manager to hide out in the plant room all day and avoid their stakeholders? Because stakeholders are like wolves.  Allow me to explain......

Regardless of how soft and furry it may appear on the outside, we instinctively understand that deep down  a wolf can be a fearsome predator, with sharp teeth, wicked claws and a killer instinct.  They might look a lot like man’s best friend, but they’re feral beasts and an unplanned or unexpected encounter with one and you could well end up with more than a few chunks being torn off. Basically, just like stakeholders.

Of course there are degrees of deadliness: The lone wolf, grizzled veteran of a thousand fights can be the most fearsome of all, but even a cub can take a finger if you’re not paying attention.  But worst of all, just like stakeholders, wolves are at their deadliest when they hunting in packs.
Almost all Facilities Managers will have at some time experienced that entering the lion’s den feeling that is a prelude to meeting with a large group of stakeholders.  They tend to be monthly meetings and I have a theory that I’m working on that it has something to do with lunar cycles – I can’t prove it, but mine mostly seem to fall on the same day as the full moon..........  Coincidence I’m sure.

As we step into that meeting, we know that we are going to be significantly outnumbered. It can feel like being circled by sharks and you know that as soon as they scent blood in the water, there’s going to be a feeding frenzy.  As you shuffle your agenda and your notes from the previous meeting, your pulse quickens and from somewhere deep down something primal pushes to the surface. Instinctively you prepare yourself for fight or flight.

So should you fight or should you flee?  Which is the best choice? Actually it’s neither. There is a third way which is all about getting your attitude right in advance as I’ll explain shortly, but first, let me try to explain why you should ignore that instinctive response.

Ok, so we wouldn’t actually fight in a meeting and probably wouldn’t go quite as far as running out the door screaming either, but in a modern day business context, you could think of them instead as going in all guns blazing or adopting a strategy of appeasement. 

Fighting it out can seem initially attractive. You can refuse to accept any criticism or blame, counter your opponent’s claims and blind them with science, etc. If you’re aggressive enough, you can probably even push the blame right back at them for failing to read the memo, not filling in the form, etc, etc.  If you go in all guns blazing, you’ll probably put the fear of god in them and they’ll never dare criticize you again which is a surely a good thing right? Well not really. It doesn’t actually work like that: if they don’t feel like they can talk to you, in the future, they’ll just go behind your back, around you or over your head. As an FM you almost certainly have the skills to win most of your battles, but FM is about cooperation not confrontation; what are you fighting for? If you’re trying to win hearts and minds, winning battles can cost you the war.

With that in mind, you might decide it’s just easier not to be confrontational at all. If you just give everyone whatever they ask for, they’ll all be perfectly happy and they will just leave you alone right?.  Well.... before you choose a strategy of appeasement, there’s something you should know: it didn’t work in the run up to the Second World War and it doesn’t work now.  Ultimately, demands are not always reasonable; if you agree to everything, eventually you’ll end up promising things you can’t deliver and your stakeholder frustration will increase.

So let’s talk about the other way instead.  Our ancestors learned how to domesticate the wolf and we too can learn to tame the stakeholder.  There are limits of course: they’re not going to chase sticks or retrieve your slippers, but it is definitely possible to develop mutually beneficial relationships and even get them working for you, being your eyes and ears and championing your causes. The key is getting the balance right; less fear, more respect, more confidence, less aggression. Most importantly of all, remember that communication is a two way process: if you give you should also take.

So how does that work in reality?  Well this blog was inspired by some advice I recently gave to a peer about stakeholder meetings which went something like this:  You should always participate in meetings as an equal: remember that you are there because of your skills, knowledge and expertise. Be confident but not aggressive:  you are not there as a punch bag and you are certainly not there to spend your time apologising for the level of service, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen and learn. Don’t be defensive; accept constructive feedback and never tell people that their experiences of the service are wrong – if someone is cold, no amount of telling them that they're not will make them any warmer or happier. If you can learn something from the things they tell you, you may be able to improve the service.  Most importantly, remember that communication is a two-way process; the pact you make with your stakeholders is that; in return for getting direct access to you to raise team complaints, you get to use them as a conduit for communicating information in the other direction.  And it doesn’t hurt to give a little constructive feedback of your own. After all, if you’ve listened to their views about the way the front desk works, then quid pro quo, you’re perfectly entitled to ask them to try and get their teams to be more considerate when using meeting rooms.  Finally, remember that, this is your opportunity to talk about the good things you’ve done and the good things coming up. It’s your chance to spread the vision.

So going back to wolves. As I mentioned earlier, like stakeholders they can be at their most effective when they work as a pack and with the right balance of attitude, respect and communications, you could find the pack working on your behalf; disseminating your message and spreading your vision.  And when that happens, the sight of the moon, full in the night sky will have you howling for joy, rather than trembling in fear.