The FM's Party Survival Guide

Traditionally, the beginning of December heralds the onset of the work's-Christmas-party season. Whilst there are many who look forward to the prospect of getting a little tipsy and having a boogie with colleagues, for many in the FM  industry the very thought of sitting down to a turkey dinner with work's-people fills them with dread.  In this blog I explore the reasons why and give some of my party survival tips.

So what exactly do Facilities Managers have against the work's-Christmas-party anyway?  Well for a start it's not just the Christmas party.  In fact, it's not even just work's-parties:  A lot of us have a beef with parties in general.  And it's not because we're cantankerous, Victor Meldrew types either:  It's because in almost any party situation it's virtually inevitable that someone will ask you what you do for a living and if you work in FM, 99% of the time that conversational thread will lead to the point where you end up having to say “Well no, actually! Not like a janitor at all!”  This will be followed by about an hour of explanation as to why being an FM is not like being a janitor.  Not that there's anything wrong with being one, but it's just that the effort of having to spend all that time at parties explaining what you do (when you should be having fun) can really grind you down.

Still it could be worse: at least we're not Health & Safety Officers!  That might sound harsh, but honestly, those poor guys have it way tougher than Facilities people.  If, in a party situation, you ever find yourself foolishly happening to admit that your work involves being responsible for managing Safety, the best course of action to follow is to immediately get up from the table, step outside, hail a cab and go home...... because that's your night done!  If you're stubborn enough to stay, you'll spend the rest of the night having to justify or refute every safety measure or myth ever conceived to people with a chemically-diminished capacity for logical and reasoned discussion. It's a no-win situation.

But if parties in general are bad, in many ways the work's-party can be the pits. For a start everyone already knows that you're not a formula one driver and to make matters worse;  everyone, and yes I do mean everyone, will talk shop to an FM at a work's-party.  Now there are those who say that talking shop is par for the course and to a certain extent they're right. But....... there is a world of difference between gossiping about who is and isn't getting promoted and the relentless barrage of gripes and grumbles some FMs have to put up with. At the work's-party, an FM can find themselves facing a steady stream of people who, on account of the fact that they've just bumped into you, decide that it is surely the perfect opportunity for passing on that complaint about the air-conditioning that they haven't got round to emailing you about yet. I mean why not? It's not like you make it easy for them to catch up with you during the 'normal' working day by being at work, having a phone and an email account is it?  At Christmas parties past, whilst everyone else has been busy occupying themselves by eating mince pies and trying to work out who Sarah-from-Accounts has been disappearing into the stationary cupboard with,  I've had my evening wasted justifying the recycling policy, getting feedback about cleaning, explaining air-conditioning, hearing everyone's opinion of the vending coffee, etc, etc, ad infinitum. And it's not that I normally mind talking about that stuff, it's just that, well...........it's a party: I'm here to have fun like everyone else!

The list of minor groans and grievances you can face at a party can almost be enough to put you off going. Almost. But you shouldn't be deterred: FMs make a huge contribution to an organisation's success and they have every right to celebrate that success with colleagues.  Not only that, but it's a great way of engaging in the culture.  In fact, one of the reasons many FMs suffer from such a hard time at work's-parties, is that they fail to identify it as an engagement opportunity and therefore don't go adequately  prepared. 

So if all of this sounds a little too familiar, allow me to share with you my top tips for Christmas-party survival.

1:  If you're off the clock, be off the clock

Some people say that that listening to moans and groans goes with the job, but I say that it's just plain rude.  Between courses I might well spend time engaging in speculation with colleagues about the extent of Sarah-in-Account's extra-curricular activities, but if I was to collar her at the bar and give her a hard time about the speed and accuracy of her invoice coding, most people would say I was "bang out of order: It's a party for heavens sake!"   So be prepared to politely and firmly stand your ground:  There is absolutely nothing wrong in saying “I'd really like to talk to you about this on Monday, but it's a party so do you mind if we don't talk shop?”

2:  People love to hear themselves talk

Something that not all FMs realise is that......... it's not just FMs who feel like nobody understands what they do and how important it is.  Honestly: it's true! If you don't want to be caught with the what do you do? question, why don't you be the one who asks it instead?  Making people feel like they're important to you and that you want to understand them is a great way to forge new alliances and build trust.  And who knows: you might just find out something useful.....

3:  The best defence..........

If like me, you are one of those people mentioned in the tip above who really love do to hear themselves speak, you just might struggle a little with my second tip, but that's ok I have a third one for you:  try treating it as a public relations opportunity. Instead of waiting for people to approach you with a complaint, why not go in armed with your list of recent successes and exciting future plans and solicit feedback?  Try saying things like, “We're considering going fair-trade when we re-negotiate the vending next year..... do you think we should?“  Of course, everyone is going to say yes and you're going to do it regardless anyway, but.... they don't know that: Their perception could be that they are making a contribution to the decision making process and when you eventually  bring it in, they may even see it as a shared success. Result!

4: The three-hit-combo

As any boxing fan will tell you, victory rarely comes with a single blow, but through skilfully delivered combinations.  To make the best of these tips, use them all together: Ask about them, fend off the complaint then solicit some positive feedback.  It takes skill and practice but master it and they'll be putty in your hands.  And if all else fails, there's always tip number five.....

5: The master avoidance strategy

If you've tried all the above and you're still getting grief, it's time to beat a tactical retreat to the dance floor. Now let me tell you, many people claim they can multi-task, but it is quite literally impossible to have a serious discussion about car-parking whist doing the Macarena or the Cha-Cha-Slide. Frankly anyone who can manage it probably deserves their own parking space anyway! Now if you've seen me busting-my-moves, you'll understand that this high-risk strategy is not to be taken lightly, but it can be brutally effective in a sledgehammer-to-open-a-walnut kind of way. There is even a very slim possibility that if you manage to pull it off extremely well, then at next years party you might just discover yourself being the subject of speculation about what Sarah-in-Accounts has been up to! Now go! Get out there and have fun! 

Merry Christmas.

Holding Out For A (Silent) Hero

Facilities Managers are heroes. Fact. When the chips are down and it’s all going wrong, you can rely on an FM to swoop in and save the day. But is this really something we want to be known for? In this blog post, I make the case for keeping your pants on under your trousers.

The idea for this blog started with a snatch of overheard conversation: an FM colleague was asked to describe their role in Facilities Management to which they responded: “we’re the people you turn to when it all goes wrong”.  It’s a description that many would agree with.  After all, Crisis Management is an important part of any Facilities professional’s role and most are justifiably proud of their problem solving abilities. It is these moments of extreme adversity that enable us to show people what we are really made of, prove our value and earn the respect that we truly deserve. These moments of converting mountains into glorified molehills become personal pinnacles of achievement, each one a badge of honour on our CV. Surely we should embrace these difficulties for presenting opportunities to bring our skills into the limelight?  Or should we? Before we get too carried away thinking about what a crisis means to us, maybe we should try to consider what it might mean to others.

No such thing as bad press?

It is said that there is no such thing as bad publicity, but I'm not sure I agree. Averting disaster and turning failure into success is undeniably personally rewarding, but whilst you are basking in the glory of being the man (or woman) of the hour, others may be looking around for opportunities to apportion blame and if you’re distracted by enjoying your moment in the sun, you could easily find yourself becoming a scapegoat. Now you may argue that this won’t happen to you because your organisation operates a "no blame" culture, but at the end of the day, human nature will almost certainly trump organisational policy and it is human nature to speculate about who got what wrong.

You see whilst we might be acutely aware that managing to get that aged chiller up and running in two days (even though the parts had to be shipped from Belgium) was nothing short of miraculous, there's a good chance your customers will just see it as one more failure that occurred on your watch.  Of course you and I know that that’s not really a fair assessment of the facts because………. you did try and replace it last year but the board wouldn’t release the funds. You may choose to tell customers this and shield yourself from the blame, but before you do that, maybe you should have a good think about whether this is a story that you really want to share.

The blame game

Blaming the boss may help build some common ground with your customers, but pointing the finger further up the chain isn't going to win you any friends there. These are the people who can directly influence your resources to do your job: unless you think you can use the situation to launch a full blown coup and win total control of your own budgets, sooner or later you'll be crawling cap in hand to them trying to get the money for something else.  These are people you need as friends not enemies.  Besides, there are those who will point the finger right back at you for not making the business case compelling enough.

Survival training

Ok, so I’ll admit the picture I’ve painted is pretty bleak, but there’s no need to despair just yet, for all is not lost. With the potential pitfalls I’ve described above, it’ll come as no surprise when I say that good Facilities people need to develop highly effective political skills to be successful in a corporate environment. Crisis is your opportunity to hone these skills.  Here are a few points to consider.

• Keep your cool.  At the end of the day, and even with the most meticulous planning, disasters will happen. They will still need to be managed and Facilities people will almost always play a vital role in doing this.  But be careful not to get too caught up in the drama. Do communicate your successes, but don't oversell them, you will build a far better reputation through calm efficiency in the face of adversity, than you will for rushing to the edge to pull the company back from the abyss.
• Be careful not to court disaster.  Career defining challenges might boost the adrenalin and raise your profile, but a Facilities Manager has a management responsibility to manage risk. When things go wrong make sure you take the opportunity to learn lessons and take action to prevent it from happening again.  If you ensure that any learning points form part of your communications strategy, you will be able to raise your profile by developing your reputation as a good risk manager.
• Think very carefully before pointing the finger - some people might think you're passing the buck and you could easily make powerful enemies. If the root cause sits further up the chain, a more strategic approach could involve outwardly shielding the responsible party and playing down the severity of their error, whilst speaking frankly to them about it directly. You may take a little more heat from your customers than you would if you just pass the blame onwards, but you can play this down by choosing your language carefully and in the longer run, you may well earn the gratitude of a powerful ally.

As I said, disasters do happen and as a Facilities Manager, you'll almost certainly have to be part of the solution, but I hope I've adequately demonstrated in this blog that there is much to gain by not always making too big a deal about being the hero.  Maybe next time you've got to save the day, rather than rush to the nearest phone box, like me, you'll take a more strategic view and keep your pants on under your trousers instead.